A letter to my soon “to be” two year old

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Dearest Emyrah,

I write this letter as I watch you sleeping soundly in the seat between Papa and I, your legs propped up on me as we travel home from our recent trip to western Canada.

So peaceful … so little. Simply beautiful. 

This past week was the first time, since I returned to work after your birth that we spent some quality mama and daughter time together. And as I write this letter to you, I’m holding back tears. I share what I saw this week, only because it has struck me so hard and I am totally amazed by you. It may not have the same effect on others, but nonetheless I write this for you.

There is just so much I want to share about our week together, so many great memories and silly things you did (that laugh of yours is just so infectious!). But these are moments that only you and I will understand, and possibly only memories that I will have (as you may be just too young to remember).

It hit me this past week, that you were no longer a one year old but a little girl who was turning 2 in a short few months. People would ask me, how old is she? And I would hesitate each time because I wanted to say one. I would reply a bit delayed that you were 20 months. My mind couldn’t help but think that in four short months, your age would no longer be counted by months , but simply by years.  wpid-dsc_0467.jpg

Life just seems to fast forward so quickly, and I also started to reflect on my life, my age, and I couldn’t help but wonder if your nanny (my mama) thought the same about me when I was that small.

As I awaited your arrival, after finding out I was pregnant, I had so many questions. I didn’t know how it would be, I didn’t know what sort of personality you would have or who you would resemble. Impatiently we waited for your arrival (10 days late to be exact), and every single day leading up to your birth and after, I sang to you “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine […]”. To this day, this song makes you smile.

When you arrived, you were beautiful, curious and just so independent. You were always wide eyed and didn’t miss a beat from day one.  We loved that about you instantly (and even now), although at times it can be challenging.

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Throughout your first year, among other things, we travelled lots, made lifelong friendships, sang songs, started swimming, and watched you take your first steps (running from day 1), and as a family, we celebrated your “birth-months” with a new cupcake. Before long, I was headed back to work and you to your caregiver. You know, that was truly a tough transition. I was so worried about you, but of course, I knew that you needed this as much as I did. It’s positive and healthy.

It isn’t that I didn’t see you growing and maturing over the last 8 months, it’s just that this past week week it was different. I didn’t have the busyness of life, chores and work. I could just focus on you. This past week it hit me hard — you are growing up. Some days, it doesn’t even seem like you are a toddler, but more like a little girl (… of course this changes when we are trying to cool a tantrum).

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You show kindness, cooperation, politeness and compassion towards others and the baby doll you carried around Whistler rocking and singing (much like what we do for you.)  You insisted that your doll also join us for “ski-ng” (as you would say it). This past week you asserted your independence, and it was noticed. In fact a few commented ” isn’t it great having such a confident little lady!” “I am so drawn to her personality”. You showed how courageous you were in the swimming pool, trying so hard to stay afloat on your own and insisting that Papa and I let you go.

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It was really when you started speaking in short sentences over the last couple of weeks, reciting nursery rhymes like ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Mister Sun, andThe Wheels on The Bus, and reciting lines from your favourite story books (Carl and his fly pancakes!) that I started to reflect on how much you have blossomed.

Little Emy, I look forward to many more moments like this with you over the years to come. Never loose that sparkle you have or the curiosity in the world around you.

My promise is to always love you, guide you and help you to grow into a little girl and a lady who holds unto all of these great little qualities that make you so special to us.

Love Always
Your Mama 

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